Wandering The Post-Apocalyptic Wastelands With April Shitface, Part 7

Once again we join April Shitface in her journeys through the post-apocalyptic wasteland in search of her father, only pausing to grief dogs, to watch fatal inter-species spanking, to look at pretty lights, and to kill bugs. Truly, her tale shall be a story for the ages.

Little Lamplight is a settlement of children located within a series of caverns. (When any child stops being a child, they’re exiled and sent off to live in Big Town instead. How exactly they repopulate, I’m not sure.) Turns out Dogmeat, April’s faithful canine companion, isn’t the only dog in the game after all, as they had a whole slew of dogs in Little Lamplight. All of which looked suspiciously like my own dog.  How can I tell which one’s mine?

Wanting to get rid of the imposters, I tried pushing one of the non-Dogmeat dogs off one of the rope bridges, but he (or she) stubbornly refused to fall down. Fine, be that way. Stupid dog.

One of the perks I decided to take was Animal Friend. This perk makes it so that animals won’t attack you, and they may even come to your aid when you’re fighting enemies. (So kind of like the Mysterious Stranger perk, in a way.) As I like animals, and figured that this would be a good way to avoid a lot of tedious fights with random posta-apocalyptic critters, it seemed like a good use of perk points. And I guess it was, though I don’t recall animals ever coming to my aid in fights other than by chance. If, for example, Raiders spawn and try to run after me while I’m near some mole rats, the mole rats will fight the Raiders but I wouldn’t exactly say that they are coming to my aid; they’re not attacking them to help me, they’re attacking them because they’re naturally hostile towards one another and they happen to be in the same place.

It was fun being able to wander up to normally hostile animals without them reacting though, and observing their behaviour. One time it  allowed me to see a most magnificent sight, up close and personal, which I otherwise wouldn’t have seen: a mutated bear (called yao guai) attacking some mutated cows (called brahmin)… by spanking them to death.

You go, bear! Tap that ass! But, perhaps you should do it less forcefully; ass tapping should generally not lead to blood loss.

The lighting effects in the game are pretty nice, leading a few beautiful and often eerie scenes.

Get out of my post-apocalyptic bathroom! April, facing off against a giant, radiated, post-apocalyptic cockroach.

This entry was posted in games and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *